Hey! I am pretty pumped to start sharing with you what I have been working on since the spring. I am telling you, following through with a call is probably the best way to discover more about yourself. One minute I would feel awesome and the next I had to ask God what He was thinking! I am an expert in selfishness, not love and kindness. It’s like standing up to speak and instead of picturing the crowd in a vulnerable position, I am the one looking exposed and ready for the assault of laughter. Yes, I am excited but I am also nervous. I only plan to share what God has inspired me to publish, but I know that along the way my human nature will show up. I hope that together we will discover the little jewels that God is promising us as we journey through this thing called life. Please do not hesitate to share what He has done for you as well.
I am a perfectionist. Let me just put it straight and not have to beat around the bush about it. I don’t really need to discuss why this is good or bad. What perfectionism ends up doing is making it impossible for me to ever complete anything and show others. I don’t think that I am alone either. Starting something is one thing, but starting at each step in the process of making a complete product, is hard. Like, pull my hair out hard.
I originally wanted to title this post, “Why I Should Start“, but after being blind-sided by my perfectionism and snapping out of it, I realized something. What makes it really hard for me to follow through, is the guilt I feel for not starting earlier. Or the guilt for taking FOREVER to make a decision. Then there is the doubt and questioning that really puts a damper on my happenings. Because of the doubt, guilt has a straight up party in my head. So if I want to talk about what I should be doing, I am not doing anyone a favor. It isn’t about what I should be doing, but all about what I can do.
God doesn’t work in terms of guilt. He doesn’t sit there plotting His next move, manipulating me into His own workings. Nope. All He does is plant a thought or idea in my head and watch as a light comes on and I bust out in ramblings about how I need to do such and such. He designed me to be creative and use my head. Why would He guilt trip me into doing stuff for Him? He wouldn’t guilt trip me, that’s just it. So who is cooking up the idea of making me feel guilty anyway? Well, besides the fact that I am a human and have sinful tendencies, there is someone who has it out for me. They don’t really want me to glorify God or have purpose.
You know about the devil, the one who accuses you as you lay there at night thinking about how you did that one stupid thing. Or maybe it was multiple things. He makes you feel like an idiot and sets out logical reasons why you just aren’t cutting it. He tells us that it is really hard to be human, so why bother trying harder to be better. I feel lame half the time for not striking up a schedule in a planner and crossing off every little task within the time frame that I have. You would think procrastination would fizzle out after college, but no. I still face it to this day and the guilt it creates once in a while.
What God promises us, is that despite our condition, He can do a lot through us. If I just claim His promises in His Word, all those little thoughts about failure or imperfection will only be ways to get stronger, not bent out of shape. I have to remind myself every day of the merciful facts that God has given me. I forget sometimes. Especially when interacting with others and I just can’t seem to do anything right. So, basically God is the only reason why we can start anything. He puts His complete logical packet of goodness into our hearts and ignites a fire. One that we cannot stop.
Here are a few promises that I found. It sometimes takes repeating them over and over again, before it all really sinks in:
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. – Proverbs 16:3
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. – Jeremiah 17:7