As the school year begins, I’m reminded of something that happened about a month ago. First, let me catch you up on the whole story.
Last year, before starting the homeschooling journey, my husband and I prayed and made it abundantly clear that we were following His will. Leading up to and throughout Rachael’s kindergarten year, God opened doors and knocked down barriers in ways we never imagined. My work decreased from four days a week to two, giving me the time to homeschool, and finally I was let go from my job, enabling me to be home full-time. We weren’t ready to give up the income, but God has provided for our needs and our family has been so blessed by me being home. Rachael is my stepdaughter, and while Brian was totally on board with homeschooling, her mom had to also agree with that decision. Oh, how I worried about that one (with much insecurity)! Yet, God opened doors again and we are homeschooling with her blessing, support, and encouragement.
It often seems like when God opens doors and makes His will the clearest, that is when Satan attacks the hardest and throws the most doubts and insecurities my way.
A little over a month ago, I arranged to have the day to myself to plan out our school year. On that particular day, I spent the first hour of my time angry, hurt and in tears, because of a comment someone made to me. The comment was made innocently and most likely with the best of intentions and a heart full of love, but stirred up those doubts and insecurities that I had buried.
Would I be able to homeschool and have an infant? Would Rachael get the education and attention she needed, while I adjusted to meeting the demands of a newborn? Was I enough? Was I crazy to think that I could handle all of this? What if I couldn’t?
I think that as women, we all have doubts and insecurities. Doubts about overselves, doubts about our sufficiency, worth, ability. You name it, and we’ve probably had insecurity or doubt about it at one point or another.
While I processed my feelings, I arrived at this undeniable truth that remains, no matter how Satan tries to shake it with insecurities, doubts, fears, circumstances, etc. Ya’ll, this is HUGE, but it’s so beautiful and simple!
I am able, because He is able.
Fill in some blanks with whatever it is you need. I am _________________, because God is ____________________.
Do you feel inadequate? You are adequate, because He is all sufficient (2 Cor. 9:8).
Do you doubt your ability? You can, because He is able to do exceedingly above all we ask or imagine (Eph. 3:20-21).
Do you doubt your worth? You are worthy, because He gave His life for you (John 3:16).
You are, because He is.
When I doubt, it is often because rather than keeping my eyes on Jesus, I am looking at myself. I am nothing without Christ, but when I am filled with His Spirit, I am capable of being and doing anything He has called me to be and do!
Once again, God in His gentle way said to me, “It’s not about you. It’s about Me.”