When your fear is currency
And you feel that urgency
You want peace but there’s war in your head
Maybe that’s where life is born
When our façades are torn
Pain gives birth to the promise ahead
Switchfoot, I Won’t Let You Go
There are some moments in life that exceed expectation. Some moments that are so rich in God’s goodness that all you can do is bask in the light of His presence. Last Tuesday, I went to a concert that I have been waiting rather impatiently for: Switchfoot and Relient K’s Looking for America Tour. Two of my favorite bands touring together was a dream come true, and to share that with some of my favorite people made the night even more special. But beyond hearing amazing live music, I felt God’s nearness to my heart in a way that my soul was craving.
I’ve spent so much of this year struggling with reproductive health issues and the news of potential infertility. It’s a lot of painful irony for someone whose job is to support Mothers in giving birth. Maybe it’s the warring hormones, dashed dreams, or a combination of both that has blotted out a lot of hope in my life. Then I heard Matt Thiessen’s fingers run over piano keys, and somehow it was easier to choose for a moment not to let my heart ache despite anemia, doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, supplements, teas, essential oils, fertility diets, and talks of high-risk pregnancies and potential miscarriages. It was a moment when God sang to me through Jon Foreman that He won’t let me go.
In the mixture of joy, laughter, fun, and tears on that night, my hands went up in worship to my God who carries me through it all.
I don’t know what painful experience you are going through, whether directly or indirectly, that may be unbearably hard to carry. And sometimes we only get a fleeting moment when the clouds break enough to remind us that the sun is still shining before the darkness envelops us again. Yet, I believe those are the moments when God is nearest trying to reveal who He is to us in the dark, and as we cling to faith for light to shine again we can know that when it does it will be brighter.